Red Spots

My hell is a square foot of skin

1.15.2008

I have whiteheads in every pore on my face. Some of them have become inflamed and red. My skin feels like coarse sandpaper. To top it off i have a huge stye in my eye. Right on my lash line so it hurts to blink. Ive tried warm compresses and “stye eye” formula drops. Hasnt worked yet. With my luck its probably not even a stye, itll turn out to be a zit. The tazorac that my dermatologist prescribed me isnt clearing it up. Its just getting worse. I suppose its supposed to get worse before it gets better. Thats what they said a year a go when they put me on accutane. I had big nodular cysts back then. I still had whiteheads back then but the medicine just cleared up the pimples. At least im being homeschooled now. I dont know what i would do if i had to go to school with my face the way it is now. Wait, i do know. I wouldnt go. Like last year. I need to get new sunglasses. Theyre getting ragged. People are starting to recognize me with my sunglasses now. I cant go out in public with my face the way it is. If i have to go out i wear sunglasses everywhere, even indoors. Im also growing out my eyebrows so theyre bushy and unkempt. Theyve always been too thin. The corners of my mouth are cracked and flaking from the medication. Its a topical ointment and it dries out the skin. I found out that i have to get all four of my wisdom teeth removed soon. My teeth are too yellow. I need to save up for britesmile. Ive been eating nonstop. Im only 110 but it feels like im 150. I have this insatiable urge to just consume. No matter how much i eat, how many coffees or teas or waters i drink, or how many cigarettes i smoke, i just cant stop. My shrink says its a side effect of my anxiety.
I was going to go to this driving class yesterday and i tried putting on makeup. It just looked like i had a skin disease. No matter how much moisturizer i put on my skin its still flaky. I have a dermatologist appointment tomorrow.

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